a letter to you, and explanation to myself

the reason i sought you out as a friend was a simple, single reason. 

not because you were nice, or shared my interests, or were crazy and out there, no it wasnt a pity friendship or any of the like. 

I wanted to be your friend because I thought you could be my person. The person when the who rest of the gym class paired up, you'd head straight for me. or when you could only invite one person to diner for your birthday, youd invite me. thats why i wanted to be your friend, i wanted to be someones #1. 

but ive realized, too late i think, that when i treat others as if their my #1 then they'll treat me like im theirs. but just now, ive realized, im ok with waiting, someday ill find a friend and they'll treat me like like im #1 even when im acting like im # 60000000000056. and im prepared to wait. and i wish you the same friendship.