a letter to the editor.

i love you.

the end.

amen.

a letter to, im kind of sick of letters.

im losing my self confidence.
its slippng away slowly, i have based my life on the fact that i belive in me.
and now i am starting to lose even that.
and i dont know what to do about that.
b/c that is so utterly important.
i can feel it leaving, like a bird.
croaching down unfurling its wings.
oh look., there it goes.
and if it leaves me ill pick up the peices.
and try again.

a letter to society

you suck.
because i am 20 pounds underweight
yet i feel 500 pounds overweight.
i am skinny.
i feel fat.
you, my dear friend, society, suck balls.
i dont relize how much you control my life, my words, my every move.
but you do.
you make things cool and uncool.
and i hate you for that.
tight clothes and 00 sized jeans dont work for me.
bagggy loose clothing, does.
lets go with that one.
thankks.

a letter to my life.

im in love with you.
i forget sometimes.
but, i love you. i do.
i promise!
you are a mystery, but you really arent as scary in the end.
you really are great.
i have plans for you. big plans
so get ready, love.
you will be hated, loved, trampled, questioned, put through hell.
but in the end, i love you still <3

a letter to you.

fuck you.
ha! i have wanted to say that for longer than you could have imagined.
fuck you for making me feel guilty.
fuck you for making me feel incompetent.
fuck you for making me never being happy for more than two seconds.
fuck you for wanting more and more until i have nothing more to give.
and then fuck you for being unhappy with that.
fuck you for not holding yourself too the impossibly high standards you hold me to.
fuck you for always being unhappy.
FUCK YOU.
fuck you.
fuck you.

a letter to the twisters of fate...?

i've stopped reading, and writing, and doing.
i dunno why.
when i write, it feels less inspired.
and im scared.
is it too late to relize my dream?
my dream is to write.
thats all i ever wanted to do.
and even though im not now,
i will.
the road has just begun,
and it will keep going, even if my feet refuse to walk it.
it will still unfold before me.
and someday soon i'll began to drag my feet.
and then i'll powerwalk.
and jog.
then, i'll run, until i break into a sprint.
and then i'll be happy.

a letter to you, you're a jackass.

you used to rule the world.
but now, you're nothing more than a boy.
i used to be so infatuated.
but not anymore! :)
im through with you!
and im so happy.
im moving on.
to someone who will like me back.
(or at least im trying. im almost done with you!)
and it has been hard, and will be hard.
but im almost done with you!
and i couldnt be happier,
(well maybe i could be, if we were going out)
but i digress.
im done with you.
:) :) :)
FIN

a letter to you.

im sorry i didn't remember.
im sorry i dont remember.
i want to.
more than anything.
i wish i did.
and im sorry.

a letter to one, two, three. people

i want you to come after me.
like when i say no, just leave.
or when i walk away,
i want you to follow me, i want you to fight for me.
i want you to think im worth it to you.
but im starting to think i never will be.
but whatever.
your lose.

a letter to the younger,

when i was younger, i wanted my life to be complicated, i want to feel important, i wanted to be involved in drama, i wanted my empty backpack to be filled with textbooks, and now, younger generation, now im a bit older, and to be honest, i would give just about anything for simplicty, so happiness, and for summer days without cares. I would give alot to be that inexpicably happy again. boys can have cooties, and girls can be happy without them.
grass IS always greener, eh?
so yea. enjoy.
but i know you wont, i didnt either.

a letter to my friends.

im tired of being the one who always listens, and mediates, and listens, and gives advice..
i want to talk about my problems.
i want someone to tell me there here for me, to listen attentavly.
and some of you (ESP YOU) are doing a shit job.
im not going to say anything b/c im sure i have faults as well.
but really come on.
can i please be the one who gets ths serious attention for once?
thanks.

a letter to you, again.

so i found out yesterday night/this morning.
my heart was pounding.
my hands shaking.
i was expecting the awnser i wanted, the awnser i didnt get, and than made it exponentaly more disopointing.
the lame excuse, welllll i dunno. i mean that made it bad, but i dont think you ment for it to be lame. and then thing is, my friends kept calling you a jerk, and a butt, but really you're not, just because youd odnt like me doesnt give me the right to hate youor call you names or be anygry.
im so sad. but im not going to stop trying, it FEELS like you're flirtng with me...and so maybe..just maybe theres hope. i dunno we'll have to see how it plays out.
i hope we make it.
but i dont blame you nor myself if it doesnt.

a letter to you. this is what i want to say, i cant get it out.

i like you.
i have gotten about 10000 people's advice about how to tell you.
theres the subtlety, the flirting, the not at all, the hinting, the asking out, the haveing someone else tell you, the writing you a letter, the facebooking , ect. ect.
there are so many ways to do it, and yet i cant. i cant open my mouth, i cant tell you, i cant spit it out. im driving everyone nuts with it.
but it gonna be akward no matter what way i do it.
i wonder, will you be repulsed, or will you like me back, will you be indiffrent.
you'll be akward, i know but im ok with that.
i just dont want it to ruin a friendship.
im freaking scared.
and that keeps my mouth shut.
yourejust a boy, but i really like you, youre ust a boy, yet im scared. youre just a boy, but i cant look at you without smiling.
i like you alot.
i wish you knew.
i wish i could tell you.
but until then...
i like you.

a letter to God. and Ray Bradbury.

however...
sometimes i feel depresed.
and its then i must remind myslef to live like the marrtian.
not ask WHY im on the earth, or why im doing these things,
or why i was born to an uper middle class family who cares,
and not a 10 child starving family in Hati,
but accept that as fact.
Live like the martian, and live connected.
not sceince and religion apart.
but combined, like tree roots.
live each day. and not question why, but accept. and better myself.
and thats that.
im going to be happy.
and overcome my fear.
FIN.

a letter to you.

maybe.....
i dunno.
maybe were all walking around like robots...not really feeling real emotion.
maybe we arent in control. at all.
all i know is I belive in God. and i belive in love. and i belive in peace, and hope, and faith, and nature and choclate, but not too much, and guys, and guys with good abs, and happiness, and cheese pizza, and friends, and U2, and jackjohnson, and dorks, and timeless friendships, and old pictures, and cats, and the world, and mankind, and you, and me, and us, and all of this around us, and all of the whole of eveything, whatever that may be, and i belive in movies, and chickflicks, and harry potter, and books, and them, and the collective they, i belive that God is in control of some things, but like a parent we must make our own choices, and cheese sticks, and frozen threee musketeers, and the day we all grow out of all of this, and the day we all have peace, and the day we all get our heads out of the sand and look around, and the day we get together, and the day we stop killing people, the day we all grow old. I belive in beauty and sadness, i belive in the sky, and in the grass, and the garden.
Im happy.
You're happy.
What else matters today?
not too much.

a letter to him.

im going to see you soon.
and i havent seen you in a long time
but im really excitied.
there are so many things i like about you.
you....
are one of the awesomest amazingest people i know,
i hope one day we can be...
but for know; i pine after you in scilence.
somedays i wonder if you notice. is it obvious? my affection, i mean.
the other day, i was going to tell you. i wrote you a message on facebook.
but my finger slipped and i dont press send.
i couldnt. i wouldnt. im sorry. im not coragous. im sorry your shy.
because of our flaws....we may never be together
but i have learned to never discount chance...nor humans.
maybe someday....tommorow. the next day next month or year
maybe someday when we meet by chance on the street many years from now.
maybe never. whether we end up together or apart, it will be for the better.
i know. still i hope us being together is for the better. because you are amazing.
what would you say if you knew this was about you? what would you do?
would you be disgusted? happy? would you ask me out? would you not talk to me for the next 4 months and 19 days? i dunno....
still, i like you alot.

a letter. to whom? you, i guess

im happy.
im really happy.
and its not because i have eveything in the world.
or because i have everything i want emotionaly.
im not really content with some of the way im living.
there are alot of things i want to change in my life.
but im trying. im working at it
and i know im kinda bad when it comes to these things but...
im working on it.
and i know that and so im really happy.
:]

a letter to myself and i guess to the reader.

i have been enslaved by this fear.
this secret fear...
that i have spoken to NO ONE.
and i mean no one.
and its so stupid. becuase i have been trying to get past it for months
and latley i have been some what successful...i guess
but its kind of hard to stop thinking about it. and its not even that i ever thought that it was true.
its just that im scared.
and its a stupid silly fear.
but im afraid if i dont get over it...
i could convince myself its real. b ut i know its not.
so im not gonna say im through with this silly fear.
because i think it will take time
but i will say im trying really hard to be done with it
and i think soon...i will be done with it.